Titbits bird◆ Was Nick Perry canvassed by the Labour party? The Hackney Society’s chair was adamant: “Very unlikely,” he tweeted. “I have technology that accounts for each time the doorbell was pressed…”

◆ There were long faces among Labour councillors and activists at the election count as the party’s loss of a seat to the Conservatives in Stamford Hill West was announced. But one member of the council was very excited – the Conservative Party’s Simche Steinberger, who as the numbers were read out was heard to yell from across the hall: “Out! Out! Out! Out!”

◆ “Red politically, but much prefer a raspberry ice pole or bubble gum ice cream.” Thus spake Mayor Glanville as he celebrated his re-election with a blue ice pop.

◆ The Beard Liberation Front has declared the mayor’s re-election shows pogonophobia as a way of discrediting candidates for political office is on its way out: “Philip Glanville presents a really positive image of the hirsute in politics.”

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